Sunday, 30 May 2010

Here's to you. Here's to me. Here's to all we have in store...

Sometimes, the last person you ever expected to, is the one person who makes you cry more than anyone else. Sometimes, when you least expect it, you find out you had a secret friend you never knew you had. Sometimes, when the time is finally right, you let go of the past and make peace with it and the people involved.

Tonight had a lot of that.

To find out someone who you have admired for a long time has secretly been following you, that that person knew all along that you are "fragile", and that they were wishing you well the whole time but only just found the moment to tell you that, is such an overwhelming feeling, I can't even begin to put it in to words. All I can say, from the bottom of my heart is
Thank You
I think I spoke enough when I said how much people have noticed everything you do, and I think my tears said it all when I honestly, truthfully told you how much I'd miss you, and I will honestly never forget the advice you gave me, even if right now, as true and as perfect it may be, it still isn't time.

But please know, that because of you I managed to make peace.

To finally find the words and the courage to say "I forgive you" is a strong moment. When you finally, eventually, feel that weight lift off your shoulders when you tell that person that you are finally ready to live and let live everything that they ever did and said that was wrong to you and so many other people, is such a relief. I am just so glad it was now.

Where other things are concerned I am not ready to let go. I am not ready to stop believing, to stop fighting. I hurt, everyday, but as you said, I am 'fragile' and you will honestly never know how much it meant to hear someone who I never thought would ever even know, say those words.

Tonight you have given me so much more than you will ever know. You have given me a friendship I never knew existed in such depth, the courage to forget, and the strength, drive and belief to carry on in a society I have never until tonight felt a part of.

It wasn't until the tears fell that I realised that I was part of the family I have been striving to be a part of for so long. It wasn't until the tears were shed that I realised I had been home all along. It wasn't until the goodbyes were said that I realised just how much I'd miss you all.

Thank you xxxx

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