Sunday, 7 February 2010

Nothing like the movies

I'm feeling pretty unmotivated. I should be doing work, in fact, I need to be doing work. For tomorrow! But I can't find my motivation. I want to do it, to get good grades and finish with a bloody good degree but it feels like something is stopping me and I can't figure out what.

It's odd how I want to do it so much that I'm excited but that at the same time I can't even put my laptop down for half an hour to read some hand outs, instead I'd rather be sitting here on facebook watching the minutes pass as nothing at all happens or write another blog which will probably end up feeling a little pointless once I've finished it.

Maybe I'm just not an academic. I don't do well with written work, that's why I failed A Level. I don't take in things when I read them, that's why it takes me weeks to finish a single book. I'm a doer, I have to be up and about on my feet, I have to be able to see things, to touch them, to smell them to really take it in, understand and learn. Maybe that's why I can't find my motivation.

Either way, whatever it is that is pulling me down, it is fair to say that this is nothing like the movies. When I finish this blog and put down my laptop, reach for all the paper and start to read and highlight I won't have any inspirational music playing in the back ground, I won't be surrounded by books which in a scenes time I will have magically read and understood and I won't be running up some massive steps as a way to get over writers block and jump up and down when I reach the top at the joy of my success. Instead I will most probably sit in my room, alone, in silence, surrounded by 40 odd pages of back to back handouts with a highlighter which will eventually run out, then I will work into the night living off cups of tea trying to finish the work I have once again left to the last minute.

1 comment:

Andy said...

I wouldn't worry about it.. I'm pretty sure a lot of people (including me) have a complete block when having to do work. I had just accepted it by the final year and stopped beating myself up about it.

However much I vowed I would.. there wasn't one piece of work that was completed a good few days before hand-in date.

You will do great regardless. The best work is done on the last day ;)

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