I'm a dick. I'm addicted to you.

I didn't think you would be the guy I would drunkenly cry over. I thought that phase had passed, that you were the one who was going to break that cycle. Maybe I was wrong. Hopefully I was wrong about being wrong.

I don't think you're the guy who is going to use me.
I don't think you're the guy I need to create barriers against to protect me from.
I don't think you're the guy I cry about because I don't trust you.

I think you're the guy I cry over because I care.
I think you're the guy I'm affraid to fall for because I know it won't just be a momentory thing.
I think you're the guy who is going to break down my barriers.
I think you're the guy I'm going to finally let in.
I think you're the guy who is going to make me learn to trust again.
I think you're the guy who is going to make give 110% without even knowing.
I think you're the guy who is never going to break my heart without meaning to.
I think you're the guy I am going to love one day.

That is why I drunkenly cry over you.

It is because I care.
It is because I don't want to hurt you.
It is because I don't want you to hurt me.
It is because I am scared to let you in because of every bad thing every other guy has ever done.
It is because I know I am already falling for you and I am scared it is too soon.
It is because I know you are already falling for me and I am scared it is too soon.
It is because you are the guy who has already started to break down my walls I've built and I don't want to put them back up.
It is because I am scared of letting you down, of being too closed off because of the past.

So I send you long messages. And I cry when I get home. Not because you've hurt me, but because you've made me care and I'm scared that I may have hurt you.

I care more than you will know, because it would not 'be cool' to tell you, because I am scared to let you kow just how much you already have me.

I care. And it scares me, because all it has ever led to in the past is pain and me looking like a fool.