The times they are a changing

I am sitting in a very bare bedroom right now. But as bare and as plain as it is, it is still so messy and cluttered!! Pretty much everything is in boxes now, although carrier bags have started to take role of storage now as I have run out of boxes, and it just feels so weird to be able to literally pack up my life of the last year.

I have lived on and off in The Bungabow since June 2009. Our lovely landlord Pete let us live here rent free until September and my gosh did we make the most of it! My first night here I watched Meet Joe Black with Apples and Nick, and of course Apples talked all the way through it, my second night here AJ and Holly came over and we got very very drunk which resulted in me throwing up in the toilet and then passing out in the hallway, leaving AJ to carry me to my bed. Since then there has been some truly amazing moments here, hiding all of Kate's food in the oven and filling her cupboard with teddies, taking everything from her wardrobe and stealing her duvet and cushions and forcing her massive spiny chair into the tiny tiny bathroom. The BBQs in the garden and people sitting on the garage roof, the little notes we left around the house, one of which I don't think Apples ever found, moving my bedroom round because I got damp down the back of my bed, Kate's room flooding and having everything in the hallway, Shack Attack 2, which didn't even involve Shack, just the four of us dressed in hoddies with war paint on our cheeks. The millions of times Jake and Maria have slept over, writing essays in the living room with Boodge, Maria and Blow, "The one where the Blows were up all night", my twenty first and a half where we tried to fit a million things beginning with the letter A in our tiny bungalow, pre-drinks for the Summer Ball and the photo of all the girls in the kitchen "Where they belong" and so many more...

Fair to say there are a lot of memories to pack up and take with me.

Of course amongst all of these happy times there are some truly awful times I will always remember taking place in this empty room I am sitting in now, but for this post they are things I will not list.

I am still getting over the shock at realising how much I am going to miss the third years I said goodbye to last night, at the moment I discovered I was always one of the family, even if it is weird uncle Al, and still recovering a little from getting in at about 5am after watching the sun rise and chasing my 'magnet' across the field.

Saying goodbye this year has been so different to last year. I remember sitting in Becca's room a year ago writing my first ever blog and crying while she packed up the room which had been my home for the last five months, I remember the BBQ outside the back of halls like it was yesterday and how I literally cried the entire drive home, and I remember realising that the majority of people I was crying over not seeing for three months actually ended up visiting over the summer anyway.

This end of year is a completely different experience, and while I will miss my friends over the next three months I also know that the time will pass quickly and to be honest, I'll probably end up seeing half of them before September anyway!

I'm still not ready to be a third year, and part of me is not ready to move out of The Bungabow. I feel quite lost knowing that this year is finally over, the last few months have gone so fast, and it is times like these that make me realise how short lived life really is.

A year ago I was crying that my first year was over, and that does in no way, shape or form feel like a year ago. Eight months ago I was cast as the lead in the Christmas panto, seven months ago I started dating the lead male, six months ago I found out I had been cheated on, five months ago I had exams postponed because of the amount of snow we had, four months ago I was starting the second semester of my second year, three months ago I was getting gossiped about in the library by people I thought were friends, two months ago I was looking forward to living in a house with my best friends and my boyfriend, a month ago I was petrified to live with my ex, and now I am scared to move out of my tiny little girls bungalow in a massive ten bedroom house full of messy smelly boys. So much has happened, so much has changed, so much I had already forgotten about until I thought about it, and I realise now that I waste too much of my life on things which in a years time I will not even remember.

I am going to make this summer as amazing as last years was. I am going to London again to perform with National Youth Theatre and to get trained by Complicity for three weeks, I am going to work my ass off in the pub and save money, I am going to visit my best friend at uni before she comes home for the summer, I am going to invade my friends house in Brighton and explore the gay capital of the UK, I am going to continue to learn the guitar and I am got to not regret a single thing!

Thank you to EVERYONE who has made this year it was. The ups and the downs, the tears and the frowns, the smiles and the laughter. Thank you to those who have bitched about me and thank you to those who have stuck up for me. Thank you to those who have lied to me and thank you to those who told me. Thank you to those who have made me feel as small as humanly possible and thank you to those who helped me grow back up to my true size and worth. Thank you for everything that has helped build me as a person and has helped make me who I am. If it wasn't for all the people who shit on you, you wouldn't appreciate the ones who don't. So thank you everyone :)

BTW, this has gone on for far longer than I expected it to when I started typing and I think I strayed off my original point, so sorry for the random flow of it all!!