Somebody told me once that one day i would find my --

I found my --

He was standing in front of me all along <3

The Nights I Live For

Tonight I wrote a song before bed. I think I'm at my most creative at night, it has no music to it yet as I'm not all that good at the playing, but here are the lyrics. Enjoy :)

Tonight was the first night in over a month
you held my hand and walked me home
you kissed me at the door, and you wished me good night
and then you pulled me close for one more

I watched your back as you walked away
and I slowly entered my room
thoughts flying fast, while the butterflies past
its night’s like these I live for

And I think you know but I’ll tell you anyway
that you’re the boy that I adore
I’d like to make plans with you and see them all come true
because you’re the boy that I adore

I get into bed as thoughts whirl through my head
and I think of my moments with you
That time on the train, the way you smiled that day
it was then I knew I loved you

the first time you kissed me
the time you gave me your shirt
the way you said ‘I’m crazy about you’
my thoughts flew so fast as the butterflies past
it’s the times like these I live for

And I think you know but I’ll tell you anyway
that you’re the boy that I adore
I’d like to make plans with you and see them all come true
because you’re the boy I live for

muse

i think i'm starting to feel that passion that university sucked out of me slowly making its way back into my life.

tonight, for the first time in weeks, months, years even, i picked up lexie, i started to strum and i am on my way to learning my first ever song.

thank you jenny & tyler for helping me find my passion again :)

ily

My mood changes like the weather. One moment I'm the happiest girl in the world, the next I don't want to speak to anyone and just want to sulk for no apparent reason, then I get the urge to cry, and then I just feel a bit numb and embarrassed as the mood begins to wear off, and finally I worry that I've pushed the boundaries with my self involved mood.

Nothing causes it, but nothing makes it just stay in the 'happiest girl in the world' stage either. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I annoy myself more than I annoy anyone else, but one thing that I never ever do is doubt this.

It doesn't matter how pissed off I may get, how sulky or needy I become because I still pinch myself everyday that this is actually happening. This is still a dream I never want to wake from, even when I'm moody.

Nothing Gonna Stop Us Now

Last night i suddenly realised that this is it, this is my life beginning. This is the part when the security of the past 22 years of education ends and i go at it on my own. This is the part where i no longer get a quarterly grant to help me pay my rent, or part time hours will cover food costs. This is the part where i have to start thinking to the future, and the future is a scary thing.

I've had my plans mapped out in the back of my mind for some time now. I've known for about a year what i intend to do once this roller-coaster life of uni comes to an end, but suddenly it all means something else. Something that little bit more scary, something that little bit more permanent, something a little bit more real.

Although for the past two, sort of three, years i haven't lived at home, i have never moved out. Come June however, all of that will change and i will be starting the most exciting, thrilling and nerve racking journey of my life.

People seem to constantly be telling me recently that i need to think about the future, about the what if's, that i need my back up plan, just in case my 'actual' plan doesn't work out. But that isn't a way i want to live, it is not a way i want to think. I want to embrace this next chapter of my life. It has no time limit on it as far as i am concerned, it could just be a matter of months, it could be years, it could be forever, but i won't know that unless i take this chance. So here i am, 22 years old and for the first time in my life i am preparing myself for living on the edge, for doing something rash, something dangerous and spontanious. People may think i am letting my heart lead and not my head but at least i know that i won't be alone, and for every step i take, i will have a set of footprints next to mine.

Let them say we're crazy
I don't care about that
Put your hand in my hand
Don't ever look back

I'd Lie

Isn't it nice when there are songs you can totally 100%ly relate to..

Isn't it even nicer when you no longer can.

He’ll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I’m laughing cause I hope he's wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him,
I’d lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn’t a light go on?
Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine

And if you asked me if I love him,
I’d lie